By using this site, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
Accept

123mm.xyz

  • Lifestyle
    LifestyleShow More
    How to Decide on a Wedding Budget That Works for You
    8 Min Read
    The Productivity Tip You Need, Based on Your Enneagram
    11 Min Read
    The Best Journal Prompts for Each Enneagram Type
    8 Min Read
    How to Make the Watermelon Salad Everyone Is Eating RN
    6 Min Read
    Why Canva Is My Go-To Hack for Decorating My Home
    9 Min Read
  • Finance
    FinanceShow More
    How To Make the Full-Time to Freelance Transition
    8 Min Read
    Should You Consider Closing a Credit Card?
    7 Min Read
    I Tried 5 Different Budgeting Apps, Here’s How They Ranked
    9 Min Read
    Time Blocking: The Productivity Method Successful Women Swear By
    10 Min Read
    Tax Tips You Need if You Messed Up Your Taxes This Year
    18 Min Read
  • Sex
    SexShow More
    What Do Sexual Fantasies About Your Ex Mean?
    6 Min Read
    So, You Want to Have a Threesome…
    8 Min Read
    The Conversations You Should Be Having About Sex
    6 Min Read
    8 Ways to Finally Get out of That Dry Spell
    6 Min Read
    What to Do If Your Partner Doesn’t Go Down On You
    9 Min Read
  • Sport
    SportShow More
    A Personal Trainer’s Tips For Getting The Most from Your Workouts
    8 Min Read
    Easy Ways To Move More During the Holidays
    8 Min Read
    Let’s Talk About Joining a Gym When You’re Plus-Size
    10 Min Read
    Workout Benefits More Important Than Burning Calories
    7 Min Read
    How to Work Out on Vacation to Keep Up Your Routine
    6 Min Read
  • Tech
    TechShow More
    Ninebot KickScooter D38E review
    12 Min Read
    Privado VPN review
    13 Min Read
    Tokit Omni Cook review
    11 Min Read
    Samsung Bespoke tall fridge review
    12 Min Read
    Sage Bambino espresso maker review
    7 Min Read
  • Contact
  • English
    • Русский
    • Українська
    • Polski
    • Deutsch
Reading: How to Embrace Your Sexual Fantasies
Aa

123mm.xyz

Aa
  • Lifestyle
  • Finance
  • Sex
  • Sport
  • Tech
  • Contact
  • English
Search
  • Lifestyle
  • Finance
  • Sex
  • Sport
  • Tech
  • Contact
  • English
    • Русский
    • Українська
    • Polski
    • Deutsch
123mm.xyz > Sex > How to Embrace Your Sexual Fantasies
Sex

How to Embrace Your Sexual Fantasies

Dilan Shields
Last updated: 2023/12/01 at 6:06 PM
By Dilan Shields 7 Min Read
Share
SHARE

There are some questions that come up more naturally when you’re starting to date someone new. What do you do? Where are you from? How do you spend your Sundays? As you get further down the road, the conversations become a bit more loaded but are still just as common: defining the relationship, goals and desires for the future, and so on. The topic of sex does not come naturally to many people. How many of your partners have asked you what your sexual fantasies are? Moreover, how many of your friends even discuss it with each other?

Contents
 1. Keep it Fun and Light2. Set the Mood 3. “I have a friend who…”4. Lean on pop culture and the media

There’s often an unnecessary shame around fantasies, paired with feelings of embarrassment and the perceived need for secrecy, when in fact, research shows that many of the most shied-away-from fantasies are a lot more common than you might think. In a study of 4,200 Americans, Dr. Justin Lehmiller found some of the most common fantasies to be group sex, power play (i.e., dominance, sadism or masochism, etc.), non-monogamy, fetishes/kinks, and sexual fluidity, among others.

Board-certified sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist Shadeen Francis said, “sexual fantasies can be about transcending and feeling creative and liberated in a completely different world, free from any of the constraints of everyday life.” Fantasies give us a chance to go outside of our typical comfort zone and discover other scenarios that might give us pleasure. Still, broaching the subject with a new partner (or even someone you’ve been with for a long time) can be intimidating, to say the least.

AltSummitHeadshot1

Shadeen Francis

More Read

What Do Sexual Fantasies About Your Ex Mean?
So, You Want to Have a Threesome…
The Conversations You Should Be Having About Sex

BOARD-CERTIFIED SEX THERAPIST, LICENSED MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST

Shadeen focuses on sex therapy, emotional intelligence, and social justice.

But talking to your partner about your fantasies—or embracing them on your own—is just as impactful as talking about masturbation, and these conversations can even help improve your sex life. While Francis reminded us that “not all fantasies are things that we actually want to do or are ready to do,” she emphasized that “sharing [your] fantasies can increase intimacy” with your partner. So how can we start to build that line of communication?

If you’re hesitant to approach the subject, here are four ways to ease the discomfort of talking about your fantasies with your partner.

 

1. Keep it Fun and Light

In a recent podcast interview, clinical sexologist Dr. Kristie Overstreet said to think of fantasies as a “sexual buffet.” She suggested presenting your desires to your partner as options. Be open about the things you’re interested in and make sure they know that they can choose which of them they want to try or not try. What partner is going to turn down a sexual buffet, right? Keep the conversation light and fun to remind your partner that there’s no pressure to act on your fantasies if they do not want to.

pexels-lina-kivaka-3395282-e1628595712916

Source: Pexels

2. Set the Mood

Francis recommended being mindful of the time and place that you choose to start the conversation. You want your partner to be in the right headspace, and you want to feel comfortable too. This situation is going to be different for everyone. For some people, it could mean bringing it up after you’ve had sex and the subject is clearly top of mind. For others, it could be over dinner at home. More often today, it could be over text message. If that’s the case, make sure you have their time and attention so you aren’t left wondering and waiting for a response.

 

3. “I have a friend who…”

The oldest trick in the book. Not quite ready to admit that you spend your nights fantasizing about group sex or non-monogamy? Dip your toe in the water by telling them about your “friend.” This way, you can start to get a read on how your partner feels about the topic. If you aren’t thrilled about their reaction to hearing about your “friend,” you can decide whether this is something you’re alright with tabling or if holding it back is going to put a strain on your relationship. Again, maybe you want to keep your fantasy a fantasy, but if you have an inkling to act on it, creating this openness with your partner is important for the health of your relationship.

embrace-sexual-fantasies-the-everygirl-1

Source: Pexels

4. Lean on pop culture and the media

One step beyond a fictional friend, Dr. Overstreet suggested treading into telling your partner about something sexual you’re interested in by telling them you saw it in a movie, heard it in a podcast, or read about it in an article. If you’re nervous to say this is an existing fantasy, saying you saw, heard, or read about it will help normalize it and take the pressure and spotlight off you. Hey, you can even use this article if you want.

“We create scenarios to achieve a feeling, to get needs met,” Francis explained. The fantasies we create in our mind can be a great way to discover more about ourselves. And as Francis reminded us, “whatever else you want to do with the fantasies is up to you and the power of consent and communication.”

Whether you decide to share your fantasies with someone else or keep them for yourself, the most important thing is to continue to tune into your desires and don’t shy away from the things that bring you pleasure.

Dilan Shields 01/12/2023
Share this Article
Facebook Twitter Email Copy Link Print

Editor's Pick

Is a Pre-Workout Supplement Necessary?
How to Keep Your Sex Life Alive During a Dry Spell
Why It’s OK for Your Parter to Masturbate
Privado VPN review
The Lazy Girl’s Guide To Tax Season

More Popular

Sport

Tabata: The 4-Minute Workout That Everyone Should Do

By Dilan Shields 9 Min Read

Stressed About Money? These 10 Tips Will Help

By Dilan Shields
Finance

Want to Reinvent Your Career? 2022 Is The Year to Do It

By Dilan Shields 8 Min Read
- Advertisement -
Ad image
Sport

The Workouts That Made Me Love Exercising

I went from pretending to be sick so I didn’t have to do the fitness test…

By Dilan Shields
Sport

I Grilled a Top Los Angeles Trainer For Her Workout Tips

The holidays have come and gone, and with them, so has my fitness routine (anyone with…

By Dilan Shields
Sport

Strength Training or Cardio: Which Should You Focus On?

There’s one question that trainers get more often than any other: “Should I be focusing more…

By Dilan Shields
Sex

How To Deal With Sexual Shame, According to Experts

It wasn’t until my mid-to-late-twenties that I realized I was carrying around a significant amount of…

By Dilan Shields
Sex

5 Easy Ways to Boost Your Sexual Confidence

As humans, it’s natural to not feel confident in every single thing that we do in…

By Dilan Shields

Removed from reading list

Undo
Welcome Back!

Sign in to your account

Lost your password?